Let's see... I've "started" this blog about 50 gazillion times now... kind of like losing weight. What's different about this time? I have no clue. I just know I'm tired of being unhealthy, weak, and overweight. I am SO over looking at myself in the mirror and seeing a distortion of the truth.
I recharged, restarted, got-up-off-my-ass-and-decided-to-do-something-about-this-messfest on June 17th, 2013. I remember very vividly looking at myself in the mirror after weighing myself that morning... (270 pounds!!! What?!?! Are you effing kidding me? Nope... it was right there in my face... staring at me like a chocolate cake stares at a fat kid... taunting and judging and enticing - all at the same time) and saying to myself (yes - I actually said this out loud) "You should be ashamed of yourself for being such a selfish heifer and allowing yourself to become this. Its time to quit talking, quit wishing, and quit lying to yourself. Its time to get moving and to take care of yourself, you slobby bitch."
Now - some may say that is harsh. And if any of you arseholes had said that to me, I would've likely punched you in your dirty whore mouth... because its both rude annnnnnnd true. BUT - none of you did... and sometimes I get kind of pissed about that, too. (I'm so moody) Sometimes we need that wake up call. Sometimes we need those closest to us to say the things to us that we don't want to hear - because, deep down, we know the truth we just don't want to face it. But when we DO face it, we become empowered and determined and motivated... at least, that's what happened to me. And we have to decide for ourselves that we want to make those changes. No one can do it for us. No one can push us. In fact, those that tried to pushed me, sometimes only pissed me off to the point that I was like one of those e-cards where the guy is throwing all the files in there air and the caption is, "Awwww... phuck it! Where's the all you can glutton yourself buffet?"
It was that day that I decided I would log 100 miles by July 31st... a very ambitious goal for a fatty like your's truly. I publicly announced this (as "public as Facebook is) and I DID IT. I'm sure there were those that were skeptical. I mean, how many times have I claimed I was going to make a healthy change in my life, become fit, reclaim my health - then fallen flat on my triple chin in front of everyone. I'm sure a lot of folks were sitting back just waiting for that. Or waiting for me to lose my steam and go back to my smart ass and self-deprecating remarks. (I'm still full of self-deprecation because, let's face it, its funny - unless you don't have a sense of humor and, in that case... I got 99 problems, but a sense of humor ain't one. If you can't laugh at a joke, I feel bad for you, son.)
So - anyhooter - I did the 100 miles (103.59 miles to be exact). I did "lose my steam" around the first of July - then I put my big girl panties (trust me, they were HUGE ugly granny panties!!!) back on and went back to it. Once I finished up my July goal, I was STOOOOOOOKED and couldn't wait to make my August goals... (at one point I looked at myself in the mirror and said, "Whooooooo ARE you? You've never made 'goals' before...) August came and went and I kicked those goals in their snarly, bitter teeth. By the end of August, I had lost 20 pounds (which puts me back to where I was when I started this friggin blog 50 gazillion years ago.) But - that's not the point. The point is - I'm DOING IT THIS TIME.
I have found a new poison - races. The best part of the race is that I'm not racing everyone else. I'm racing myself. And mud runs... HOLY SHAT! Where have these obstacle course mud runs been my whole fat life? Can you say, "uh-dict-tion"? (Sound it out - hooked on phonics)
I believe one of the major factors in my success now and going forward is this... "Trying" is not good enough. To "try" allows you an excuse to fail. To "try" give you a back-out option. But if you say you're "DOING" something and you accept no other alternative - you WILL succeed. So, when I say I'm "DOING" this - I mean failure is not an option. Slowly or quickly - it doesn't matter. I'm moving forward. I'm not going backwards. I'm not standing still. I'm DOING THIS SHIT! Because, "trying"... psh... Ain't nobody got time for that!
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